Anger Management in Children

Anger is an emotion that occurs in both children and adults, but it is important that parents learn from a young age to manage these episodes of anger so that children can better manage this emotion, which, as we know, is not easy for anyone to handle.

It is also important to understand that not all children respond in the same way to a situation, just as it is impossible for them not to feel it; the key is to take advantage of these episodes of anger to teach them to channel, manage and control this emotion.

Parents’ Guide: How to Manage Anger in Children?

The first thing is to know how to identify it, both for parents and for children themselves. Anger can manifest itself in different ways, with resentment, irritability, aggression or fury, when faced with a situation that they do not like, that makes them angry or that causes them frustration.

A child can express his anger in two ways: internal and external. In the internal form, the adrenaline in his body increases, as does his blood pressure and heart rate. The external form, which is the easiest to identify, manifests itself when the child tenses his muscles and raises the tone of his voice to the point of shouting. A child during an episode of anger may, in addition to shouting, insult, hit, throw objects and break them.

We are going to share 3 steps with you so that, as parents, you can help your children handle these episodes of anger and manage their own emotions:

1. Keep Calm

Parents, caregivers, or the adult in charge of the child should always remain calm when faced with an angry episode. The child’s behavior should never be matched, that is, parents should not respond to anger with more anger. Yelling , mistreating the child, hitting or breaking things is not recommended. Remember that example is the best way to teach.

We understand that it is difficult to control oneself when faced with an angry episode, but parents or caregivers have the obligation to do so. Parents who do not lose their temper during angry episodes should never be confused with permissive parents. When parents manage to remain calm, it will be easier to manage their children’s anger.

2. Children Must Learn to Recognize Their Emotions

It is part of the emotional intelligence that children must learn, it is a process that allows them to learn to recognize their emotions so that they can control themselves. If parents are faced with their child’s first episode of anger, they should wait for the child to calm down and then they can talk about what happened. During the conversation, parents should encourage the child to explain why he reacted that way to the situation of discontent and how he feels after the episode of anger.

This step is essential for children to learn to recognize this emotion, especially if it is the first time they feel it. When children learn to recognize their emotions, it is easier for them to talk about them and thus manage them.

It is not about the child never feeling anger or rage, it is about learning to control his emotions; not letting anger get the better of him, causing him to have tantrums , become aggressive, or even offend people.

3. Teach Them to Act Without Anger

The first thing parents and children should do is identify what caused their anger, then help them find anger-free ways to solve the problem. Ideally, parents should show children the advantages of solving their problems without anger. And when children are able to control their anger, parents should positively reinforce their behavior.

Traffic Light Strategy for Self-Control

This is a technique in which children learn to regulate their emotions. Red is for stopping, yellow is for thinking and green is for acting. When the traffic light is red it means that we must stop to recognize our feelings and emotions. Being aware of our emotions will allow us to act better.

Once we have recognized the emotion, we move on to yellow, which is the time to think about what is the best response to the situation we have in front of us and which generates this emotion. Then comes green, which means that it is time to act, and with the emotion now regulated, our action will be better.