How does divorce affect children?

Parents’ divorce can be a very traumatic event for some children, especially if they were accustomed to their daily routine during the marriage and living with both of them.

This separation can generate anxiety and sadness that can affect them in the future, however there are ways to deal with these consequences. Do you want to know how divorce affects children? Then continue reading the following article.

How does divorce affect children?

For children, especially those in their early years, a divorce often means a period of constant stress that can lead to trauma that could affect their development.

These consequences can start as small things, such as a lack of attention in class, which can affect their performance, or even anxiety attacks that can get worse over time. They may also experience mood swings and constant irritability towards their parents.

It is important to understand that children go through a grieving process during divorces, where it is difficult to accept the situation and this can lead to self-doubt and even feelings of guilt, especially if the parents do not do their part to make their children feel comfortable and loved during the process.

Similarly, in many cases, children tend to become more attached to one parent, which can affect the outcome of shared custody at the end of the process.

Stages of adaptation to divorce

At the time of the parents’ final separation, all family members, including children, usually go through certain stages of adaptation that will allow them to cope with this situation until they try to accept it:

• Acute phase: This includes the initial stage where parents make the decision to separate, which can cause shock to the children and the rest of the family, and can usually last up to 2 years.
• Transitional: This is what happens before and after the separation, where children begin the process of adapting to their new lifestyle with divorced parents.
• Post-divorce: Finally, this stage occurs after a reasonable time after the divorce, where the children will end up adapting and trying to accept this decision of their parents.

How to help your children deal with divorce?

Young children during a separation need to be listened to, either by their parents or by a therapist who will help them throughout this process to reach a reconciliation that does not harm their emotional state to the point of affecting their daily life with their divorced parents. ( Also Read: How to Cope with the Loss of a Child? )

This is why, despite differences, parents must cooperate for the well-being of their child, putting differences aside in order to support children in the process. 

In order to deal with the issue of divorce, parents must approach it with maturity and calm, so that children can correctly understand the reasons why they decided to separate, making it clear that it is not their fault and showing that both of them still love them.

This should also be accompanied by naturalness and constant discipline, avoiding compensating for everything by giving them things and following a flexible and loving upbringing to make them feel safe. (We also recommend reading:  Tips to discover and develop your children’s artistic abilities with Music Classes )

Some things to keep in mind

Children are quite emotional and tend to easily show their emotions with their expressions and actions. This is why parents must take into account several aspects and details to know if their children feel well or not during this entire divorce process.

So, the first point to take into account is the attitude that children have towards their parents, which can change, either due to guilt or annoyance towards them due to the whole situation.

The second point is to observe the actions of the little ones, since they may have trouble sleeping, or throw tantrums, have bad attitudes and habits that can harm their health.

It is extremely important to give them the attention they need so that they do not lose their way and the divorce does not affect their daily lives, leading to fights at school or becoming violent with those around them.

Talking to your children is the most important thing

Despite the situation that may have caused the divorce, you must keep in mind that your children cannot be responsible, so you must always have the best communication with them so they can express their feelings and doubts regarding the entire situation.

For this reason, parents must do everything possible to maintain the emotional stability of their children and give them all the support and love they deserve, so that the process does not affect them for life.